This is my story that I wanted to share with anyone with similar experience. I don’t need anything in change, publicity, fame or money. It is just the memory that comes sometimes from the past…
Rainy day in heavens
Basel in rain. Just another stop going homeward. Haze and grey clothing of the old charming city gave me sensation of deep melancholy, like going to senseless nowhere. Leaving the car, I was wandering in search of the place decent enough to spend the rest of the day. The refined tearoom, facing the wet, paved plaza, seemed warm and inviting. Green trams and rare bystanders, made perfect frame for the late autumn desolation. I was trying to made up my mind and regain signs of lost integrity in this uncommon, colourless day. Entering, I found pleasant atmosphere and scent of passed days. With untouched cup of tea, I was sitting feeling idleness of someone without precise engagement, and observing the pale grey of my stocking between the verge of my jeans and shoe. I was thinking about this so unusual habit to wear feminine undergarments, a little ‘secret’ of my life from the days of adolescence. Now, I was not young any more, and with 55 passed recently, few wrecked marriages, and complex burden to carry on, I was more confident in wearing those signs of my never realised femininity. Now, I was not hiding my little caprice with obstinance that has marked all those past years. Suddenly, there was a question in German, immediately repeated in perfect English, and I became aware of tall, grey haired men, with short beard standing in front of me in sailors coat and smiling innocently. He has asked gently for the permission to join me at the table as, he observed, the bar was crowded. Though I have noticed few free tables, I have considered his presence as pleasant intrusion to my lonely afternoon, and invited him with the simple gesture. He was well dressed with feigned nonchalance, and started trivial chat conformed with occasion. Soon, the ice of first casual meeting has disappeared and we found ourselves in friendly conversation, revealing stories of our lives. I have discovered that he was successful doctor, divorced and well inserted in Basel reality, and hours together passed unusually fast. With very first signs of evening darkness, and with gained familiarity, he offered me to be his guest for dinner describing himself as true expert in Basel restaurants. In fact, the selected place was nice and the food well prepared. Excellent wine, a bottle of Gaubunden Chardonnay gave us possibility to conquer more and more confidence, and when I asked him to help me in search of decent hotel to spend the night, he offered me hospitality with elegant unaffectedness, saying that his apartment is too big for a single like him, and that my presence would honoured him. I was tired and accepted gratefully his offer for some more pleasant chat and sip of good Whisky, soon we were walked slowly through rainy streets that run along Reno and stopped in front of sumptuous palace that he described as his modest home. His apartment was huge, well furnished with some touches of true luxury and the choice of his Malt Whisky reserve was astonishing. He chose the bottle of McCallan commenting that 21 years were right age for the occasion.
‘Just call me Harry’, he said pouring serious quantity of whisky in glasses, ‘I don’t like the sound of my German name’.
‘Good Harry’, I answered, ‘But I see that you want me drunk’.
He laughed saying, ‘McCallan has healing proprieties, doctor’s statement, I swear. It erases bad memories. So, we will raise our glasses in that name’. Then he added with malicious smile ‘May I ask you something personally?’
‘Of course Harry, just ask’.
‘Am I wrong or you wear nylons?’
With touch of red in my face, I lifted the brim of my jeans. ‘It is my youth malady, my little secret, now less masked than in the past. I simply love wearing them, though I never considered myself a crossdresser or similar’, I said with shamefacedness trying to smile.
‘I find it nice, and I confess that that was the detail that attract me today in bar. It is perfectly natural do dress the way you like’, he commented.
The atmosphere of his home was tranquilizing, and the second glass of whisky made me fuzzy and unselfconsciousness, so I said, ‘Well, it might be the time for bed. At least for me’.
Harry observed me carefully and made direct question, ‘May I have pleasure to share the bed with you tonight?’.
I was unprepared for such offer, and tried some inconsistent explanation.
‘Harry, you are nice, educated person, but I am not gay, and I have not any experience in that matter, and yes, I am attracted with you, but I really don’t know what to say’.
‘Well, we can try anyhow’, he insisted, ‘You are free to give up any moment if you would dislike such experience’.
He came behind me and gave me small tender kiss on my neck. Though I had some fantasies in the past about love with someone of my same gender, I never considered it seriously. But something out of my control decided instead of me, in that very moment. Almost unconsciously, I turned and kissed him right in the mouth with long wet kiss, feeling my face turning red.
‘We will try, Harry but you have to explain to me everything’.
He started with patience and even medical details, and commented at the end. ‘Don’t consider me hunter of spoiled souls, this is not my usual method to get close to someone. You are just innocent victim’, he said smiling. After this lesson, I went to bathroom, and secretly took the small plastic bottle with mineral water, being obsessed with idea to make improvised enema and present me purified in bed. Though it was not the easiest thing to do, it functioned. When I returned trying to be relaxed, my excitement was visible. Harry was there sipping his whisky and said, ‘Just another desire dear, be sweet and please remain in your stockings for me’. He showed me his bedroom that faced Reno with huge windows on the right, and opposite of big, low bed, the left wall was the row of high mirrors. I returned to bathroom and peeled off my robe remaining in my white undershirt, white satin garter belt and panties, and my sheer pale grey stockings. I undressed my panties too, and put them over the strips of garter belt, considering Harry’s desire, and returned to bedroom with my feelings confused and unclear. I lied on the big soft bed, and Harry remained only the time for shower in the bathroom returning in heavy dark blue peignoir and wearing small vase of night crème in his hand.
‘Don’t misunderstand me dear’ he said, ‘Neither I am a gay, though I gathered some experience through years. I have preservatives but not any lube. I think that this night crème should do, it is greasy enough’. He opened peignoir and I was shocked and couldn’t stop gazing in his huge thick penis, in full erection, pending like sword from his skinny body. It was really big, circumcised and remind me of sculptured ‘toys’ offered in porn reviews. I said, ‘Will this enormous thing really enter in me?’
‘Why not?’, he answered laughing and rolling carefully condom on it. There was something unreal and funny in that scene with condom on his penis with its reservoir for cum, that stayed as a flag on the top. I felt my heart beating frenetically and remained silent. He undressed peignoir leaving it on the floor and came to bed, kissing me passionately in the mouth, and said gently, ‘Here we are baby, please leave me the pleasure to undress you’, and saying this, he peeled off my panties, ‘May I ask you milady to take the position on your knees, and show me your little cute ass’, he asked and I obeyed silently.
He continued to kiss me everywhere, and then with fingers of his right hand, put the night crème all around and inside my asshole with tenderness, kissing me all the time and caressing my buttocks and legs in stockings. I was paralyzed and left him to do all this in absolute silence, seeing everything in the mirror at my left. I saw him greasing the surface of the condom with night crème, and his slow moving on knees right behind me. He pointed the head of his penis on my asshole, and start pushing it slowly but with persistence until the head suddenly passed my sphincter and I felt acute pain that made me scream, ‘God, it hurts, it hurts so!’.
He remained with the head of his penis in me, and caressing my legs he said tenderly, ‘It will pass dear, relax, it will pass’, and continued penetrating me slowly, pushing the penis deeper and deeper, while I was lamenting continuously. I felt that something enormous was entering in me, but though the pain was lacerating, there was a sensation that I will be repaid for everything at the end. His penis was in me almost completely and I felt the touch deep inside, that gave me sensation of strange pleasure. I was still moaning loudly and Harry asked me in low voice, ‘Shall we stop it baby?’.
‘No darling, go on’ I whispered while crying and searching his hand, ‘It will pass, it is passing’.
He started with slow movements to go out and in, and every time he reached the point deep in me, there was incredible sensation of something beautiful, that made me forgot the pain. Then suddenly, at the end of the stroke he whispered, ‘Baby, I can’t resist, I am coming!’ and I felt spasms of his penis, while he was shouting loudly. I felt the pulsing of my sphincter and he withdrove his still hard penis out of me. He seemed ashamed, and said, ‘I was to much excited baby, I am sorry that I was not the great lover for the occasion’.
‘Don’t say so Harry, it was my first time and I don’t consider it so bad’. I said and kissed him in the mouth adding, ‘Thank you dear, we did it finally!’.
He wiped my tears, and unrolled the condom full with cum, throwing it beside the bed.
‘It must have been better’, he murmured, then kissed me again, and add, ‘That’s that baby, we survived you see?’, and remained silent laying on the bed.
I thought about strange thing that I have noticed during making love. My penis remained without any sign of erection, like the part of my body unaffected by event. I considered that as something unusual while undressing garter belt and stockings and leaving them on the seat beside the bed. Soon I was sleeping like lamb wit last glimpse of my conscience, asking me if we have done the right thing. I don’t know how long I was sleeping, but in one moment I was aware of Harry’s enormous penis again on my asshole. This time he entered me with decided, strong stroke, much easier and smoother than the first time, and before I regained awareness, he was already deep in me and start pushing in and out in rhythm. I was laying on my side and he held me firmly with his hand. ‘You are crazy!’, I screamed and started moaning loudly as he was pumping violently. This time, the feeling was nice and I felt his thick, big penis moving in me with sensation of immense pleasure.
‘This is to correct the bad impression that I left, baby’, he said while I start screaming and moaning, and almost losing my senses. Then he stopped and withdriving the penis out said, ‘Let’s go missionary baby, I need to kiss your mouth’, and I obediently laid on my back with opened legs to receive him again, bigger and harder than ever entering in me smoothly, and going directly to the secret point of my pleasure. He was like bull, strong and perseverant and his every stroke made me screaming, shouting and moaning like crazy, as he penetrated me deep, always touching the point that turned me out of control. I was screaming and shouting continuously and he was saying jerk words with no sense, pushing and breathing shortly, and kissing me in mouth at every stroke he gave. It was unreal and though we made love for more than half of an hour, the time passed in a glimpse. He started pumping with more violence and told me gasping, ‘Dear I have not condom on, can I give you?’, ‘Yes!’ I was shouting, ‘Yes, give me, give me, please!’, and he became furious with strong deep strokes, moaning also and then shouted loudly, and I received repeated spurts of something warm in me, while my sphincter opened and closed in uncontrolled spasms. God knows that I needed more in that moment, but he stopped exhausted, kissed me in the mouth and remaining still in me, said, ‘That’s better side of it, baby’. withdroving the penis that rapidly loses its hardness.
I went to bathroom to wash myself, and left out with slow drops little lake of his sperm in the bathtub. I have noticed the traces of fresh blood mixed with his milky cum, and I was frightened because of that. I have inspected my asshole with little mirror, and found nothing except signs of irritation. Returned to bedroom I found him lying in bed and smoking a cigarette. He said with smile, ‘I stop smoking years ago, this is just to honour old good James Bond that used to say: “Nothing better than whisky before, and good cigarette after”, I only respect that’. I have asked him with serious voice and preoccupation, ‘First, I have seen some blood in what you left in me, and second, is there possibility that police came to control shouts and screams from this apartment this night?’. He answered laughing, ‘First, the blood is secure sign that you are not virgin anymore, and second, your screaming was so feminine that there is no doubt of its origin. There might be only some envy because of it’.
I felt asleep almost immediately, and next morning, slipping in my stockings, I had the sensation that for the first time, that I am authorised to wear them, so I turnup my jeans to parade my choice, feeling legitimated part of feminine family. When Harry escort me to garage to take my car, looking at my black 911 Carrera, he said with smile, ‘I was sure that someone like you drive similar car’. We promised each other to remain in touch, and he told me looking deep in my eyes, ‘The life is short, and you have discovered one of its nice parts late. Please come back and stay here for some time’. I promised that, though I knew that this was farewell.
Few years ago, I happened to be in Basel for business, and I search for Harry, just to have diner and nice chat with him. I have discovered that heart attack finished his presence on earth. In the meantime, I become even more successful in my profession, and I have lost forever my virility. I am still wearing stockings and nice feminine undergarments, and choose carefully my unisex shoes. I have never become true crossdresser or convinced gay. To be honest, I find it improper and I feel myself realised in my own way. I have had some occasional experience, but that was not even the shadow of the crazy night in Basel. Sometimes I dream about Harry and his huge penis penetrating me and I have irresistible desire to scream and shout. Remember me in heavens Harry.